Changes...

This picture seems like it is from another lifetime.

About two weeks into treatment, Elena's hair started falling out.

In day to day life I don't remember Elena ever really having hair - I don't even think about it. But, when I look at pictures of Elena pre-diagnosis, I really miss her hair.

*Sigh*

I know its a very trivial thing in the big picture and that it will grow back. But, still, I miss it.

Funny thing now is that if she did have her hair, I think a lot of days I would forget that anything was wrong with her.

Right from the get go, we started talking to Elena about how her hair was going to fall out. We were worried that she would be really sad. When we were discharged from the hospital the first time, we were sent home with a book called, "I'm a Superhero", that was written by a cancer patient and his mom. It talks about cancer in little kid terms - the cancer is "the monster", the chemo is "the army of good guys", there's a battle going on inside your body, etc. Eric would read that book to Elena before bed and talk to her about it - although he adapted it a little for her, making the main character, "Princess Elena". One night, he talked to her about how the good guys, Chemo, would make her hair fall out. It was a really sweet, sad conversation. I only caught the end of it, but here it is:

This picture was taken minutes before she pulled out the first clump of her hair, during our second hospital stay.

Her hair would get really nappy in the hospital and I had just washed it and put it in pigtails. That last brushing must have been the final straw because within half an hour of that, she started pulling huge clumps of hair out. It was a little distressing to her at first - mostly I think, because of the steroids and how bad her mood was. She was pretty despondent. After a while it downgraded to just annoying. And finally, she didn't care at all.

Here is a picture of what it was like after about a week. Can you say: Smeagol, precious? :)

More fell out after that until there was just a very few weird wispy patches and then we decided to shave those off.

Much better. :)

Her hair will probably start growing in slowly during the maintenance phase in about 6-8 more months. But it's kind of a "one step forward, two steps back process" because she will still be getting chemo once a month for 2 years after that. So, we're not expecting a full head of hair again until Kindergarten. We'll see. We love our brave little girl! She is so sweet. We were worried about how she would take losing her hair. But, she has done so well. Now, every once in a while she'll feel her head or go to brush her hair and then stop and say with a smile, "I don't have any hair!" It makes us laugh. Thank heavens she is a resilient little kid and not a self-conscious teenager - there is another blessing in the timing of this ordeal! And also, thank heavens for cute hats and bows! :)