Indulge me - again...

So, since I use this blog also as a sort of a way to keep a journal - indulge me again or feel free to skip this post entirely... :)

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I am so IN LOVE with my little girl! She makes my heart so full it feels like its about to burst with happiness and love! I can't even describe the feeling, but I'm sure anyone who is a parent has some idea of what I'm talking about.

Last week, we started Elena on rice cereal. It is so cute to watch her try new food and learn to eat from a spoon! Last night Eric and I were feeding her again and she did really well. After the first spoonful or two, she really started to get excited about eating it. She would jut her jaw out like a bulldog to try and get more off the spoon - it was ADORABLE! Every once in a while, she would pause to get everything off of her face by rubbing her hands around her mouth and then sucking the remaining little bits off of her fingers. The whole process was just so cute!



Then this morning, I walked into the bedroom where Elena was sleeping to check on her because she had been sleeping for about 13 hours (waking up a few times to eat, but the last time she woke up was about 3 hours before I went in to check). I thought she was still asleep because I didn't hear anything, but I found her just laying on the bed awake - just smiling and looking around. At the sight of her messy hair, fluffy pink pajamas, and big smile - my heart just melted. I smiled and said "Good Morning!" and she got so excited and started wiggling, smiling, and making all sorts of excited sounds - laughing, shrieking, and "talking". Then I picked her up and she snuggled into my shoulder for a little bit and then was just looking around with a big smile on her face, making excited noises all the while. It was like she was so happy to be awake and to get the day started. I love it!

I love being a mom. I LOVE my sweet baby! Sure there are moments of tiredness and frustration. There are dirty diapers and times when she hates being in the car seat and lets us know it. :) Its not always smiles and roses. But the good times so far outweigh the hard times. The hard times always pass. And there are moments like last night and this morning that you would be willing to go through the hard times ten times over just to have the feelings you have when you experience joyful times like those.

The way I feel for Elena is so incredible to me - I would do ANYTHING for her. With the exception of my husband, I have never felt such an overwhelming care and concern for the well-being and happiness of another person - such love. It amazes me. I sit and watch her and I get so excited to see the new developments she will make and the person she will become. And then at the same time I think about how I never want to forget the way she is now and all the little things she does each day that make me fall in love with her over and over again.

I'm so grateful that Heavenly Father sent me such a beautiful, sweet little angel and for the privilege it is to be a mother to her! I'm learning so much every day - from Elena, about myself, and about her. Being a mom helps me to be a little better each day (hopefully!) as I strive to forget myself and serve her. The Gospel is true - our families really are the testing grounds in this life where we learn gospel truths, eternal lessons, and qualify ourselves for eternal life, together as families, and eternal glory. I'm so blessed to have an amazing husband, wonderful little girl, and good life!

I really like the words to the song, "In My Daughter's Eyes" by Martina McBride. They sum up a lot of the way I feel...

In my daughter's eyes, I am a hero.
I am strong and wise,
And I know no fear.
But the truth is plain to see:
She was sent to rescue me,
I see who I wanna be, in my daughter's eyes.

In my daughter's eyes, everyone is equal,
Darkness turns to light,
And the world is at peace.
This miracle God gave to me,
Gives me strength when I am weak.
I find reason to believe, in my daughter's eyes.

And when she wraps her hand around my finger,
Oh, it puts a smile in my heart.
Everything becomes a little clearer.
I realize what life is all about.
It's hanging on when your heart has had enough;
It's giving more when you feel like giving up.
I've seen the light: it's in my daughter's eyes.

In my daughter's eyes, I can see the future.
A reflection of who I am,
And what will be.
And though she'll grow and, some day, leave:
Maybe raise a family,
When I'm gone, I hope you'll see,
How happy she made me,
For I'll be there, in my daughter's eyes.