Life B.A.: Saying Goodbye

No matter how excited you are about where you are going, this is always a bit of an overwhelming sight, no? I am too sentimental for my own good. But man! Think about all that has happened in that house - how much we have grown and learned and experienced, the memories we have made! We brought Lily home to that apartment. And brought Elena home from the hospital after diagnosis to that apartment. And on and on and on.

My favorite view in the backyard

One of many days spent playing in the flowers in the backyard

Us and our incredible landlords - right before we pulled out of the driveway to head to AZ.

*Sigh* 

Don't get me wrong, I LOVVVVVVVVVEEEEE our new house. The extra space, garage, master suite, and tons of light are totally rocking my world. It's just that I have never been one for change. I vividly remember sitting on my mom's bed when I was a little girl and we lived in Oregon and having a conversation with her about change. She and my dad were a little concerned with how strongly I reacted negatively (read: freaked out) to change. I'm up for a little solicited change now and again - like Eric graduating or a new baby or weight loss or a new car. Those type of changes. But moving to another state, leaving a practically perfect ward and neighborhood, the most incredible central location with access to just about anything you could want, and gobs and gobs of family, dear friends, and a great cancer mom support group, and leaving the beautiful life we had built for ourselves over the last eight years in Utah? That is the type of change that me no likey. We are very happy here in a lot of ways, but six weeks later I still have a very tangible ache for our life in Utah. Change is hard. Driving away from our dear home in Orem and everything it represented from the last four years was extremely difficult. I don't know how you say goodbye to people who have touched and lifted and succored and loved and helped you through one of the hardest periods of your life. We love our dear landlords and friends, the incredible Park 1st ward, our sweet family, our doctors, and friends, and old roommates, and neighbors, and nurses, and cancer mom friends, and the sweet Orem Community lab ladies, and everyone we left. They made such an impact on our lives and there is a very special place in our hearts carved out for them that will always be theirs.

Darn moving.

 And a few more pictures I got in our last few days of the beautiful place we lived:

So now, Arizona.

There are some things I don't think we'll ever love about Arizona:

-the HEAT!!!
-the overall dead, ugliness of the desert (I know I am a total Northwest snob, but even Eric who is always generous and optimistic about different climates has admitted this one)
-the crazy Phoenix drivers (people say Utah drivers are crazy, but those people have obviously never driven in Arizona)
-the insects (even the flies here are psycho - you have to be to survive in the desert)
-the lack of green and water
-having rocks for a backyard (although we are very grateful to have our own fenced in back yard)
-the high sales tax
-being far away from so many friends and family

But, there are many things we have also quickly come to love about Arizona:

-the rainstorms
-the cooler (not cool, but cool-ER) desert nights when things get more bearable and everything seems to come to life
-another really great ward
-seeing lizards crawling on our fence
-getting to watch for a whole new set of birds since we live in a new region (yes, we are nerds. :) But we saw a road runner right next to our car the other day that had just caught a lizard! A road runner! It was cool. We are having lots of fun bird-watching.)
-Eric's new job that he LOVES. He is really eating it up and I'm so thankful that even on the days I feel like we must have been crazy to move here that I know he is loving his work.
-the palm trees (you step outside and feel like you must be on vacation somewhere)
-being only two hours away from family that we haven't lived by for a long time


I'm just chalking it all up to one big adventure. It is a chapter of our lives, so we're going to live it up. We love our house (our HOUSE!), we love Eric's job, and we love- in a way- not living within an hour of any family. Our engagements are far less frequent and we find ourselves getting to live quietly and slowly here at home with just our little family. I mean - given the choice, we'd choose to be by family :), but it is one of the hidden silver linings of being far away. Another plus of our new life here in AZ,is that it feels a little bit like we ran away from cancer. In a way, it is fantastically exhilarating to start over again and leave a lot of traces of "cancer life" behind us. We moved in and no one knows us and knows what we've been dealing with and we kind of get to escape cancer a little bit. I mean, we always have certain fears in the back of our minds, but we do feel a little bit of freedom here that we didn't before. It is odder than anything to switch treatment facilities in the middle of things, but interesting, too. Anyways, I'm starting to ramble now. But there you have it - ups and downs and happiness and sadness and adjustments. That's moving, right?