Kate's Burial 8.10.13

We flew into Utah late Friday morning. What a beautiful sight! Utah in August is a pretty amazing place - green and blooming and caught in between summer and fall. The trees are green and full, the mountains are tall and inviting, the canyons intoxicating, and the mornings and evenings pretty much perfect temperature wise. It was such a balm to our tired, aching spirits to arrive back "home". We picked up our rental car and started to head down south. The girls zonked out as soon as the car started rolling and Eric and I just enjoyed reveling in the beautiful Wasatch Front on the drive. We had planned for Friday to just be a quiet, relaxing day visiting a few places we love. Our first stop was BYU campus, by way of the Provo Temple and Rock Canyon. Campus is so quiet and peaceful and beautiful in the summertime. We went and sat by our fountain for a long time. That fountain has seen a lot of my life. When I was a student, I'd go there to sit quietly and think. When Eric and I were dating, we had our first kiss at that fountain, we got engaged by that fountain, and we celebrated our 5 year anniversary with a visit to that fountain. We stopped by a time our two throughout Elena's treatment to sit and talk by that fountain. And then we found ourselves there again, the day before we were going to bury our baby, seeking for some of the comfort of the past. 

After we sat for a while, we headed off in search of some Peanut Butter Cup ice cream from the Creamery (oh, how we'd missed it!). And then, we got caught in an unexpected August rain and thunderstorm. There is a God in Heaven. And He knows us and He sure loves us. Anyone that knows me, knows that I LOVE the rain and cloudy skies. It pretty much never rains in Phoenix, but it was overcast and rainy the morning that we went to dress Kate at the funeral home. And it rained again in Utah the day we flew in. I count those as little, but significant blessings from Heavenly Father - reminding me when things were difficult that He loves me and that He holds everything in His hands. We ran through the rain to our car and headed down the street to one of our favorite restaurants, Thai Ruby, and enjoyed a yummy lunch while we watched the storm blow. We rounded out the night with some quiet time with family and dinner out to another one of our favorite restaurants, India Palace, with our friend, Shane. Indian food, Thai food, and creamery ice cream all in one day is a pretty good day. :)

Saturday morning, we were up bright and early getting ready to go to the Provo Cemetery. Again, when it was time to leave, I was absolutely dreading it and my legs felt like they weighed about 500 pounds each. I really did not want to go. I didn't want to face all of the emotion again, I wasn't sure if I could face people, and most of all, I didn't want to have to say goodbye to Kate again - this time for the final time. Dread and sadness and pain weighed heavily on me. The idea to have Eric give me a priesthood blessing popped into my head. He gave me a beautiful blessing and I felt enough strength to face the morning.

It was a gorgeous day- crisp, bright blue skies and sunshine. When we arrived at the cemetery, there were so many wonderful people waiting for us. There was family from near and far and many friends and ward members that we hadn't seen since we moved a year and a half earlier. We felt very loved and were so grateful for everyone's support.

People arriving

Elena was so excited to see our dear friends and former landlords, Diane and Gary

The burial service was simple and beautiful. My dad offered a very tender prayer to open the service and Eric's dad conducted. Our brother in law, Ryan, sang THE most perfect song in the entire world, "After All" by The Idea of North. Seriously, go look it up on Spotify or iTunes right now. It spoke to my soul then and it still does now every time that I listen to it. Then I talked for a few minutes, sharing some of my thoughts, experiences, and testimony. We all sang "Families Can Be Together Forever" after I finished. Then, Eric dedicated Kate's grave. I am so grateful for the power of the priesthood. And then Eric's dad finished with a few thoughts and a prayer.

Kate is buried in SUCH a beautiful place. 

To the east, her grave has amazing views of the Provo mountains I love so much and also the "Y", which makes our whole family giggle a little bit. It is just perfect. :)

We are so grateful and indebted to so many people for the things they did for us. Utah Valley Mortuary donated their services to us for the burial, Jennifer Grigg took all of these beautiful pictures for us quietly in the background and also donated her time and talent, Eric's parent's ward provided the luncheon after the burial, Eric's parents and sisters visited the cemetery and picked out Kate's plot in the cemetery, Kristi planned the burial service, my parents drove Kate's casket from Arizona to Utah, Eric's sister arranged for photography, and the list goes on and on and on. I know I probably don't even know the half of it. Thank you to everyone who helped and served us and traveled to be with us. You are amazing. We are so grateful for you.

Kate is buried in the "Angel Garden" in Provo Cemetery, which is a section reserved for infants and children. This statue is in the middle of that plot.

Some family and friends at the burial. 

I am so grateful for each and every person who came. They all mean so much to me in different ways. It was amazing to have them all there. I could write pages about each one of you and what you have meant to me. One cool piece of trivia is that four of my five college roommates were there with their families. That is pretty amazing. I was blessed with the most incredible roommates in college - we were like family. They are so awesome - it was pretty cool having life come full circle like that. From little bebe single college ladies to women with families and heartaches and an enduring friendship that has spanned the years.

Lily and Aunt Julie and Uncle Rob

This picture is special to me. My dear friend, Emily, flew out from Oregon for Kate's burial. Emily and I teach colorguard together at camp in Oregon every summer. When I look at this picture, I am just floored by the twists and turns life takes- that I was ever asked to be on staff at camp, that Emily and I met, that we discovered we are like long lost sisters and have lots in common, and then that we were together on that day years after we first met - in Utah, at my daughter's funeral. Life! But I am so grateful Emily was there. Besides the fact that she is one of my dearest friends and it meant the world to have her support, having her there was also like having a little bit of camp magic with me hundreds of miles away from the forest in Oregon where camp magic is usually found. Love you, lady.

Eric's Grandma Hastings was able to come, too, which was a nice surprise.

One interesting and beautiful thing was all of the kids who were at the burial. I was so struck by the life and joy that they brought. Our hearts were heavy, but the kids were there exploring and climbing and playing and singing - like little rays of light. I was really struck by the spirit they brought. They were a good reminder that life goes on. It is beautiful and there is joy to be found. Thank goodness for all the sweet little kiddos in the world - and especially for mine - they have kept me going and put a smile on my face when I didn't feel like I could. 

(All photos by Jennifer Grigg Photography)