Time to Say Goodbye...

WARNING: THIS IS A LONG AND VERY RAMBLING POST. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK AND ONLY IF YOU ARE VERY BORED AND HAVE NOTHING TO DO.

I just finished my last assignment as a student at Brigham Young University.

....

Wow.

At first, it didn't really sink in, so I had to sit for a few minutes and let my brain unwind and process everything. Because let me tell you what - it was a sprint to the finish. Seriously - as in my deadline to turn in my last final was 7:00 pm and I was frantically typing until 6:58 pm. But, now it's done. And now, in true Briana fashion, I am getting ridiculously sentimental and nostalgic. Ridiculously. Like I want to cry. And I'm thinking to myself, "Why did I want to finish so fast? I love this place - I don't want to be done." See? I told you - ridiculously. Because if you would have asked me at any point up until now, I would have sold a kidney or something if I could have just been done.

Anyways... I am sitting on the second floor of the Terrace in the Wilk. As I finished my final (it was a take-home final) and started packing up my stuff, I looked around and saw the bottom floor of the terrace right underneath me. To give you a little background, the bottom level of the Terrace is where I ate lunch during my first day of BYU colorguard tryouts - my first "student life" expereince, if that makes sense. It was my first time on campus and I was a petrified, but VERY excited freshman trying hard to act cool as a cucumber, blend in, and not look like a freshman. It was a Saturday and campus was very quiet, much as it is now. I sat in the Terrace with a couple of other colorguard girls, they decided to go to the Twilight Zone to get a sandwhich (my first experience with the Bookstore... ahh, the Bookstore :), and then we came back to eat in the Terrace. I thought it was really fitting that I finished my last act as a student of BYU looking down on the place that I had what I consider to be one of my first memories on campus.

Then I looked to my left and there is the Bookstore. One of my first jobs on campus and definitely my favorite. That stirs up lots of memories, too... my interview that I thought I bombed, having lots of fun working a slow, relaxed spring term with Jennifer and Kate in the Twilight Zone, selling a bajillion pounds of fudge to crazy women's conference ladies and loving every minute of it- especially the busy ones, Saturday cleaning, making lots of friends, learning a lot about candy :), getting hit on by guys coming through my line, feeling butterflies everytime Eric would show up at the Candy Counter, and lots more.

Then I looked out the window in front of me that overlooks the quad and memories and flashes of various things flashed through my mind. Some things that probably won't interest anyone else or will sound silly and some that won't, but that I still never want to forget - mostly because of the way they make me feel and how vividly they bring back the memories of my time here: volunteering at education week, walking from the HFAC to the Wilk after my class to get breakfast and pausing to chat with Leah at the candy counter, performing at BYU football games, getting dropped off in Utah by my parents and the weekend we spent together, watching my first BYU dance concert, volunteering at the MTC with Eric, getting stuck in an elevator on my way to my sign language test, learning about home life and families and feeling the Spirit testify of the importance and sacredness of the things I was studying (HFL 333, 100, 461, 371, FmLf 100), daydreaming about Eric (just after deciding that I was definitely falling for him, but before we started dating) walking up while sitting outside the bookstore waiting for Emily to finish work and then having him show up!

I can't even begin to name or describe the impact that coming to BYU has had on my life. So often, I have felt that I am standing on sacred ground (both literally and figuratively). I've just felt the hand of the Lord so powerfully and so often in these last few years. I can't even begin to describe it or how I feel. I just KNOW that my life has been guided and that He knows me and has a very real and intimate hand in the details of my life. So many things have happened to me and I've learned so many things that, even if they can't be directly attributed to BYU, wouldn't have happened if I hadn't have made the decision to come here. I've met some incredible people who have changed my life and will always hold a special place in my heart, learned about the humanities, gained a lot more knowledge about music and improved my skills a lot (I'm a little embarrassed to think back about how I sounded in high school - knowing what I know now :), learned more about the doctrines of the Gospel and the scriptures, met my husband, had my daughter, learned a lot about families, got the job of my dreams, and had just a total overhaul of the way I think about a lot of things- I can't even list them all!!! But, its incredible to contemplate where and who I was before I came here and where and who I am now.

Sorry, this is getting long and rambly. I've just been thinking about a lot of stuff. I'll end this by saying that I am SO grateful for the opportunity to attend BYU. In the moment, its easy to get caught up in the day to day of everything and forget what an incredible opportunity it is and all of the INCREDIBLE experiences I've had along the way! Thanks to everyone who has supported and helped me along the way - without your help and the Lord's help, I wouldn't have made it. Looking back tonight, I feel incredibly blessed. It is amazing to see how much the Lord has done for me. Now, I hope I truly can "go forth to serve". I've always been a little puzzled by that phrase, but more and more it is starting to make sense. As I view myself now at the culmination of my BYU education and experience, I feel like I truly am better equipped and prepared to go forth and serve by using the knowledge that I have gained and my testimony of true principles. BYU is an amazing institution that way - not perfect, but still amazing in that it is a place where professors strive to teach prinicples in the light of the resored Gospel and to add to their student's light and truth. More often than not, it is accomplished. I know that I have gained light and knowledge, felt the Spirit, and that my eyes have been opened just a little bit more.

This is an amazing place! I'm so grateful that I have been able to be here!