I'm feeling it

Tonight I am so in love with my little girls. And how could I not be - look at these two sweet girls:

Elena in the backyard, after we'd been in the garden a few days ago

Lily after her bath today

And these two sometimes crazy girls :):

Lily before bed tonight. I swear she did wear clothes at some point today.

Elena before bed tonight

Life is really great these days, in spite of the occasional challenges. Especially with these two.

Up until Lily hit about 5 or 6 months, I was flailing. I was lost in the crazy, hormonal, out of control, routine-out-the-window whirlwind of a new baby and the adjustment from one to two kids. I felt like a hopeless mess - squishy, emotional and like everything around me was irrecoverably behind and overwhelming. It was a new feeling - I didn't feel that way after Elena. Those were pretty dark days. Glad those are behind me for the most part. (Not that I don't still feel squishy and such, but... :)) Now, Lily is on a pretty predictable schedule, the girls get along well, and I can actually keep the house decently clean most days. Things are getting better every day.

Tonight, Lily was on happy steroids or something. I don't know if it was a high that came with mastering crawling and stability and mobility in general or what. But she was full of energy and smiles and laughs. Tonight, just before Lily and Elena went to bed, Eric, Elena, Lily and I were all in our room laying on the bed. Lily started laughing hysterically at Elena jumping on the bed. From there on out, everything was hysterical to Lily and that really got Elena going. The two of them truly played together (back and forth interaction, playing off what the other did, etc.) for one of the first times I think. Maybe it's because Lily can get where she wants to now, so she could crawl after Elena. Watching them brought so much joy to my heart. It was such a fun night.

I was telling my sister-in-law the other day that I had a moment last week when I was out at Farm Country, with my friends and their kids, where I looked at my kids and thought, "Wow, I have two kids. I have two kids. These are my girls. And I'm really, really happy I have two kids. I wouldn't want to go back to having just one. I like the way this feels." And I really felt me as a mom of two children and us as a family of four and I liked it. It felt good and complete. I have always loved my girls, but this was the first time where I felt like I loved being the way we were. It was like I "owned it" for the first time. I don't know if that makes any sense, but I can remember the feeling. It was a big moment for me.

Life is good.