The other side

I've put off writing this post for several days - partly because I just got back from a week away (camp!!) and have been busy settling back into "normal life" and partly because it's too huge for words and I haven't been quite sure of how to sit down and tackle it. I'm still not quite sure, but I figured I should sit down and take my first bite out of it. I don't know... any words I can think of just seem inadequate. It's more like everyone everywhere needs to be dancing on their rooftops and throwing confetti and watching fireworks shows and getting time off work.

This is hugetime, folks.

Elena is done with treatment. She's done with cancer. She doesn't have cancer. She had cancer. She beat it. She won. She is a survivor.

She's officially DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On Saturday, July 14th, Elena took her last oral chemo at home and that marked the official end of treatment. On Wednesday, we marked July 18th - two years and four months after she was diagnosed. It has been the fastest and slowest two year and four months of our lives. We are so grateful to be here on this side of things. It is an unbelievable, surreal, wonderful place to be. It seemed so impossible back at the beginning, but we have made it. The Lord has blessed us and carried us through with His miraculous power and matchless, sweet love and care. I wish with all my heart that Elena wouldn't have had to suffer so much the last few years, but I am eternally grateful for the experiences we've had and the things we've learned.

February 2010 - almost 2.5 years old

July 2012 - almost 5 years old 

We'll continue to go back to the hospital for check-ups once a month for the next year and multiple times a year for many years following that. But that will be a piece of cake. We pray that we really are "done with cancer" because unfortunately cancer has a nasty way of getting it's evil little fingers entwined in otherwise healthy, uninvolved places. Long term effects from the harsh chemos cancer patients receive are common - it's sad, but true. Heart and other organ damage, infertility, weak bones, chronic pain, etc, etc. Right now Elena looks great and we're going to relish that and run with it. She's going to run around outside barefoot, play in the dirt, and enjoy herself at the park as much as she wants to make up for all those missed days at the park during treatment. Lily's going to nursery, Eric's letting his scouts hold their meetings at our house, our ANC warning sign is coming off the front door, and I'm cleaning out our medicine cabinet.

It is both extremely liberating and terrifying to think that there is nothing fighting off cancer cells in her little body except for her little body. No chemo to lean on. Exhilarating and SCARY! I wonder when Elena coming up to me and saying, "I'm tired" won't make my heart stop and a pit form in my stomach. I'm sure it will change someday - it'll just take time and a proven track record. And some deep breathes. And faith that everything will turn out right in the end - no matter what.

We're hunkering down at home this weekend to celebrate - Elena style. Next week I'll be back with recaps of what we've been up to over the last month - it's been a busy, glorious one! And also with more end of cancer wrap-up stuff. 

Here's to our new life!!!