Highs and Lows

Elena was admitted to the hospital last night for a neutropenic fever. Many of you know what that means, but for those who don't: Elena is neutropenic when she's low on neutrophils (the things that make her ANC go up). So basically you could say, Elena's ANC is low and she has a fever - a neutropenic fever. There, don't you feel all smart and official now? :)

Her ANC isn't just low, it's officially at zero. I hate that big fat 0 staring me in the face. She has no immune system. And near as we can tell, she has a cold. But her body can't handle it - she has pretty much no defenses. So, she is in the hospital being monitored and being given heavy duty antibiotics as a precaution while they wait for more testing to come back - blood cultures, viral panels, etc. to see if they can figure out exactly what's causing the fever. When your body doesn't have an immune system (or very little of one) a fever is the only sign that there is something wrong since your body can't mount the normal immune response to such and such problem.

Eric is at the hospital with her; Lily and I have to stay home because we are both recovering from colds ourselves. I hate not being there with her to comfort her and be on top of everything that is going on. This morning, Eric told me that she is crying and saying that everything hurts. I really hate not being there. Plus, I have about a million and one questions I want to ask the doctor. Blah. Stupid colds. Stupid cancer.

I was feeling pretty lonely and forlorn last night when Eric and Elena drove off into the snowy night without me. All of this now on top of our incessant worrying this weekend. I cried a lot and wished for some company. Heavenly Father is good and merciful and quick to hear my cries - what should happen, but a random text from my sister-in-law, Christy, at 10:30 asking how we were doing. The text turned into a phone call after my reply and I got to chat about anything and everything for 45 minutes and stop feeling so lonesome. I am so grateful for tender mercies like that. Out of all His children in the world with all their problems (most much worse than my own), He listened to me (being a baby) and blessed me with comfort. The Lord really is aware of us.

We saw a host of other blessings the last couple of days as well - I seriously can't even begin to name everyone who has been so thoughtful of us and shown so much love and support.

• Many kind messages (thanks for the support everyone - it means more than you know), a few visits, and tons of phone calls - including an especially tender one from my sister-in-law, Amy.
• My sister, Samantha, stepping in as a last minute babysitter, so Eric could finish a test
• An anonymous Christmas card filled with much needed help. Thank you!
• Family rallying behind us and organizing a family fast (Thanks for thinking of us Ju!)
• Packages from both my grandmas filled with Christmas cheer.
• A wonderful, surprise visit from strangers (but not strangers anymore! :)) stopping by with words of comfort and gifts to help our weekend go by quickly (Thanks again Darlene and Nicole!! It made my afternoon! Lily is IN LOVE with the doll and light up rubber ducky - she said "ducky" three times in the tub yesterday while she was playing with it -pretty impressive for a girl who only says like 3 1/2 words - she was that excited about it!)
• Eric's grandma, who has so much to worry about herself, calling to tell us she put Elena's name on the prayer roll at all the area temples.

And I could go on and on. We have been so blessed. We truly are surrounded by the best people. Thanks to all our wonderful family, friends, and ward members! Thank you for thinking of us and sharing the Christmas Spirit with us. You buoy us up when things get a little rough.