Early on in college I took a class on family history. It sounds like it would be a pretty fluffy class, but it was actually one of my most demanding classes that semester. Hours of researching and interviewing, memorizing methods and facts and resources, travel to various libraries and lots of hunting down obscure record books, and one final exam and capstone report on my progress researching a family line over the preceding three and a half months. I didn't do a lot of things perfectly in that class (writing down sources - oy! still regretting that to this day when I can't find the sources I got certain information for all those years ago!), but I did learn a lot. And I was bitten by the family history "bug". I developed a great love for family history research and work. There is something amazing and thrilling and addicting and transcendent about finding those names and learning the stories about the people who came before you. I love the people whose names are on my family tree. I have such a tender place in my heart for them.
I don't know much, for sure, about most of them. There are a few who left personal histories and letters and pictures. For most, though, it's just bits pieced together here and there from family tradition, an obituary, census information, a newspaper clipping, and so on. But I imagine a lot about them as I gather those clues. I look at immigration records and censuses and think about the trepidation they must have felt arriving in a new country with a young family. I piece together a death record and a census and realize a child died the month before the census interview and I imagine how painful not reporting that child must have been for those parents. I smile at the marriage certificates I find and try to imagine them on that day. I hold a tender spot in my heart for grieving parents as I follow a family through the decades on censuses and see children appear and then disappear too soon.
One thing I have felt- especially over the last six months - is that pain and hardship are universal. There are seasons of happiness and prosperity. And many utterly devastating times, too. Life is hard and beautiful and messy and wonderful and tragic. It always has been and it always will be. A few months ago, I learned that my great-great grandma had three stillborn daughters. She was one of the ancestors who left behind thorough records and I've always been somewhat acquainted with her life. But I didn't learn that fact until this last October. And I felt an instant bond with her. I held my grandma's scrapbook and stared at a photo of my great-great grandma pregnant with one of her stillborn daughters and thought for a long time. I wanted to go back in time and hug her and sit in her living room and cry and talk together. As I've thought about her, I realized: she did it. She did it three times over and she picked herself up and put on foot in front of the other and lived every day until she was 105. There is strength and faith and hardiness in my history.
Family history has been a balm to my soul lately. It is like someone throwing me a lifeline in the middle of the ocean. The thought of sitting down to work on it for a bit can feel like someone turning on the lights when I've been flailing in the dark. I don't know quite how to describe it, but it seems to particularly fill a lot of the void and cover a lot of the pain connected with losing Kate. It seems like the antithesis of losing Kate - if that makes any sense. That's how it feels. Which is pretty cool. Because a lot of the time the only feelings I have in that area are more along the lines of painful, depressed, bitter, sad, jealous, tired and other pretty things like that. In general conference a few years ago, Elder Richard G. Scott spoke about doing family history work. He said that when we immerse ourselves in searching out our ancestors, it will be a great protection against the power of the adversary in our life. I've always thought that was such a neat promise. But before when I thought about the "power of the adversary" in someone's life, I was narrowly limiting it to encompass just the "big sins" and it didn't feel super applicable to me personally, right now. But today I got a letter in the mail from a county clerk in England with a death record for an ancestor whose information has been eluding me for some time. And boy, if it didn't feel like Christmas! Hooray! We found her! And every time I caught sight of that pretty piece of paper, it put a smile on my face - no matter how gloomy or dark the thoughts preceding it may have been. And as I was doing dishes and picking up the house in the post kids-in-bed-for-the-night silence, I got to thinking more about Elder Scott's promise.
Protection against the power of the adversary...
...Protection against the temptation towards bitterness in my thoughts. Protection from darkness and unrelenting pain... A cloak of charity... A means of bringing the Spirit into my life in a very special way. And that Spirit bringing relief and peace and joy and warmth and life for a little while. In a miraculous way that crowds out all the negative things and leaves no place for them.
That is sure a type of protection I could use! Temptations come in many different forms. Not just the type that make headlines in the news.
I love the Gospel. The Lord is so good. His ways are simple and peaceful. I love that I can pray for charity. I love that I can offer up a quick, pleading prayer in my heart during the day asking Him to take away bad feelings from me. I am in awe of His mercy and patience with me. I am so grateful for the Plan of Salvation - for all of the beautiful ways everything works together for my good. I love family history work - it has been a blessing in my life in so many ways. It has given me perspective and strength and empathy as I learn about my ancestor's lives. It has helped me find purpose and added power to overcome my challenges. Through it, the Lord works to bless me and countless others.
I Do Now
2 days ago
6 comments:
Briana, you are an incredible person- you get that right? I loved reading this. I read a book called "The Message" recently about a man who died, experienced the Spirit World for a time, and then returned to live another 5 years. The title "The Message" is the teachings he received in the Spirit World which he felt he needed to share when he came back. Anyway, maybe you've read this book and it's all redundant. But I thought his message was pretty neat. His main message is that Service (with a capital S) is the way of life for those in Spirit Paradise. It is a restful, peaceful place but it is very busy. Everyone has specific assignments and is faithfully fulfilling those. He talks about how the way of life in Zion is also one of Service. I think by Service he means Charity. A lot of times when I think of the word service I think of taking someone a plate of cookies. Probably because that's the most loving thing someone could do for me. :) It is true. But I think what he's really getting at is that serving others, looking to their needs, feeling that pure love of Christ for them and acting on it- is the way of life for true disciples of Christ. And Father will use us in different parts of His vineyard to take care of different people. Dead or alive. Family History work is incredible to me and I am so grateful to have you in our family, showing the way for the rest of us. Can't wait to see you!
i love that you have found family history again and for all that it has done for you. you are an example to me! i've never done an ounce of family history so it's really intimidating to me. i need a family history for dummies book or something. i'm sure i would love it. loved your thoughts on that phrase in the conference talk. i completely agree. we need protection from so much more than sin-- especially for us boring people that pretty much do what we're supposed to ;) (as far not committing major sins anyway). protection from bad thoughts, resentment, jealousy, and all the other things you said. thank you so much for sharing. excited to see you soon!
This really touched my heart and I thank you for sharing. A number of years ago, I went through a difficult time, and had a similar epiphany about "bad" thoughts--they are not only the ones we automatically think of, but "bad" thoughts also include those fearful, faithless, negative thoughts that sometimes come if we are not careful. I like that connection you made with Elder Scott's words.
Thank you for your constant example of righteous doing. I wish you were here, so that you could walk me through the learning curve for family history research!
Beautiful! This reminds me of an article we discussed in our Marriage and Parenting class on Sunday. The article was about a study that found that resilient people came from homes where there is a strong family narrative, aka: people who know their family story, or family history. I'll include the link, as well as the link to all the questions that people knew the answers to about their family. It's always fun when science proves that what the church teaches is truth! yay!
http://mobile.nytimes.com/2013/03/17/fashion/the-family-stories-that-bind-us-this-life.html?pagewanted=all
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/marshall-p-duke/the-stories-that-bind-us-_b_2918975.html
I love this. You are always such an example to me! My patriarchal blessing talks about family history and I've always felt like that's something I'll deal with when I'm older. But one night when I was helping a member with a missionary lesson, I ended up doing some family history work for the first time. It was really cool. I was able to find a bunch of sealings that needed to be done and take them to the temple with Dustin the month before our own sealing. It was such an incredible experience to do that work together. And every name that came up, I kept wondering who they were and what they were like. Turns out family history is really fun! :)
Loved this! I took a family history course at BYU, but I still feel like I don't even know where to start. What's your advice?!?! I like your thoughts about it being a protection against the adversary, and that's not "sins" but just part of being mortal--that we'll have the influence of the adversary in our lives. Where do mike and Amy live?? I think I was there for that very same marriage and family lesson!!! Someone brought that article and discussed it! I think we were visiting in Fort Lauderdale when I heard that lesson. Crazy!
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